Our first Short Film

[MoM Films]

Ok hey everyone i just uploaded My first short film on youtube please come have alook and let me know what you think

[Tagger]

i kind of like the scenario (allthough it has a bit of a fight club feel to it ) but due to the acting and editing i kind of missed the tensionwave that's supposed to be happening in the movie towards the climax.

as for camerawork, i would have deffinatly made more closeups during the conversation in the beginning because following a conversation that long in esteblishing is kind of a drain on the concentration basicly, the closer to get to your characters the closer the emotion is to the viewer and you can realy work with cutting between the two characters and the sleeping guy. and in the establishing you shouldnt be affraid to make closer framings, sometimes the "interesting part" of your shot only takes up 2/3rd of your screen, where you could realy get that extra bit closer
that and the 180 rule has been broken for no reason

when it came to setting i wouldnt make it that obvious that the person sleeping isnt real(istic). I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't sleep with their entire head under their sheets and pillows. I would have gone for a "normal" setting but just use a shaded room where you know there's somebody laying there but because of it beeing dark you can't realy tell anything else from it + it would make more sense to sleep with the lights off AND it would make a cooler atmosphere, it would make the movie a lot darker.

all that beeing said, congatulations with the movie, i'm sure it was fun to make